#loki for Kristen’s 21. #drawyoucards I actually put highlights this time - I’m learning! #watercolor
I saw this cute girl at a coffee shop sitting all alone and I came up to her and asked her what she was drinking she told me “That’s none of your business” bitch I was trying to be fucking romantic and find love at a coffee shop
Fuck you and your fucking coffee
I do this thing where I rant in the comments section whenever my computer has a kernel crash. this was the most recent (11/29/2013). and guess what? i went back to school and i DID fucking kiss khalyd. so, you know, go me.
I feel like school isn’t even about learning anymore, it’s about getting good grades
You really only understand how drunk you are when you’re peeing
After seeing Craig’s most recent video, I couldn’t help myself.
hah. this is golden.
Me during finals.
“What’s not ridiculous is the inbetween time, waiting between sex and love and facing what is left over with a matter of goodness — not becoming bitter. I think we must become good with what is left in ourselves, with what is left over after it’s not good anymore. In other words, to remain whole even though everything is not quite worked out. I think we need a little luck and a little glamour and a little strength and a little moxie just to carry it on. Hemingway would call it “grace in time of trouble,” but he said it better than that. Moxie means carrying on when everything feels terrible. You park your car in the garage if you have a garage, if you have a car you slam the door, you jack off and read a magazine instead of cutting your throat. It means carrying on when everything seems so terrible there is no use to go on, and you don’t go to a god, you don’t go to a church. You face the wall and just work it out alone. If you don’t think that is tough cookie that is tough, cookie… To run somewhere, to grab something, a god, a woman, a drug, one evening of success, for the night, for the week, the year, for the lifetime. People don’t hold still long enough to find out what the hell they are.”Charles Bukowski (via mabbdoom)
The Bible-500 Nations ?
my new favorite old guy. i want him to be my grandpa
sending texts at 4 am.
FUCK HIST BALLS.
dont text anyone at 4 in the morning. you will regret it and cringe and have a cigarette to try to make it better but it wont because you know that you’re slowly killing yourself and cigarettes are bad and every time you take a drag you recall that your mom smoked for 20 years and said it was the hardest thing to quit and every single person on reddit says that the thing they regret most is buying that first pack of cigarettes.
I fucking fuck fuck shit fuck FUCK. stop it sarah. he just responded and i dont know whether to read it or not but gahhh stupid stupid fuck fuck fuck
i really want to see a chart of how many fucks i’ve said in my life.
wow weird memory: i remember going to st valentine school in the summer for math or somethign and walking out and a guy was flipping someone off like he just realized it’s cool or a thing 7th graders do to be bad ass. i was probably in 5th grade? and i kept thinking - wow that is so bad, he is flipping off god!
who have i become, seriously?
adderall (prescribed), smoking, other stuff
that house of leaves quote holds true…. i’m shifting. i’ve been shifting. im not who i was
but was i ever who i am?
does this even make sense?
listening to gamma ray by beck on spotify, trying to do my super easy math problems but i’m freaking out.
god this is horrible.
and i came back to the dorm at 3 am last night and the first thing my roommate says is that i stink.
that should be a wake up call, right?
i dont like that i’ve started smoking. and i really hope i dont buy another pack after finals because then i’ll be an actual smoker.
where the fuck have my morals gone?
just a few months ago i was outside talking to kenny while he was smoking and Amy asked, “you haven’t started smoking, right?” and i shook my head and vehemently said no.
but some of those butts outside are mine and it is not a pleasant thing.
and my fingers smell
and i’ll get wrinkles
and my nail will turn yellow
to read or not to read. the text message.
i flipped a coin and that said no but why not read it and put it to bed. is it better not knowing? is ignorance really bliss? this is something big to compare it to but when i was religious I was a happy motherfucker but when i realized nope, don’t believe in religion and i’m not a christian but agnostic/atheist, the world turned to shit. or my perception of it. believing in something more made me happy, something to look forward to and know that i know it is shit i just am an unhappy person. of course, i can’t blame all of my unhappiness on one incident, for there are many factors surrounding one’s happiness, but it was still a major turning point.
okay. i’ll read it. now. 3.00 pm.
huh. not bad.
he likes me. so, there’s that. but yeah, he’s leaving soon. then i’m leaving. so… nothing can really happen. well, anticlimactic.
and how do i feel about Alex? fuck.
but being honest isn’t that bad i suppose?
just seems a little not genuine. idk.
okay. back to homework.
god i rant so much
REAL LIFE DISNEY PRINCE TOM HIDDLESTON EXHIBIT
Where can I sign up to marry this man?
This is what I call a man.
is that a snake in your pocket or are you just happy t- oh shit its a snake
This much I’m certain of: it doesn’t happen immediately. You’ll finish [the book] and that will be that, until a moment will come, maybe in a month, maybe a year, maybe even several years. You’ll be sick or feeling troubled or deeply in love or quietly uncertain or even content for the first time in your life. It won’t matter. Out of the blue, beyond any cause you can trace, you’ll suddenly realize things are not how you perceived them to be at all. For some reason, you will no longer be the person you believed you once were. You’ll detect slow and subtle shifts going on all around you, more importantly shifts in you. Worse, you’ll realize it’s always been shifting, like a shimmer of sorts, a vast shimmer, only dark like a room. But you won’t understand why or how. You’ll have forgotten what granted you this awareness in the first place.
You might try then, as I did, to find a sky so full of stars it will blind you again. Only no sky can blind you now. Even with all that iridescent magic up there, your eye will no longer linger on the light, it will no longer trace constellations. You’ll care only about the darkness and you’ll watch it for hours, for days, maybe even for years, trying in vain to believe you’re some kind of indispensable, universe-appointed sentinel, as if just by looking you could actually keep it all at bay. It will get so bad you’ll be afraid to look away, you’ll be afraid to sleep.
Then no matter where you are, in a crowded restaurant or on some desolate street or even in the comforts of your own home, you’ll watch yourself dismantle every assurance you ever lived by. You’ll stand aside as a great complexity intrudes, tearing apart, piece by piece, all of your carefully conceived denials, whether deliberate or unconscious. And then for better or worse you’ll turn, unable to resist, though try to resist you still will, fighting with everything you’ve got not to face the thing you most dread, what is now, what will be, what has always come before, the creature you truly are, the creature we all are, buried in the nameless black of a name.
And then the nightmares will begin.” House of Leaves - Mark Z. Danielewski
HE WAS MEANT TO SING AND WAVE AT SOMEONE AND HE SANG INTO HIS WAVE IM LAUGHING SO HARD